Clare Hanham's story

Clare Hanham, Community Matron

"As a Community Matron, my key role during the pandemic has been to support care homes with COVID-19 outbreaks, deteriorating residents, as well as providing education and training for care home staff and providing reflection and emotional support to staff who needed it.

"During the first wave of the pandemic, I worked closely with a care home that lost over half of their residents to COVID-19. This was extremely difficult as the staff had cared for these residents for a long time and had built strong bonds with them and their families, and to lose them was very difficult.  It happened so quickly that staff and families had little time to prepare. 

"The fear of entering a care home with the first COVID-19 positive resident back in March 2020, donned with full PPE for the first time, unsure if it was adequate as guidance kept changing and seeing the fear on the faces of care home staff – that feeling will stay with me forever.

"The emotion in the care home at that time was so sincere and heartfelt.  I would go home and cry myself because of the pain and heartache this virus was causing to so many people. 

"What amazed me throughout was the compassion I saw by care home staff, some of whom were very young and hadn't dealt with death before. They were holding the hands of dying residents and ensuring that families had contact by "Skype, FaceTime or whatever means they could, to keep families close.  The care staff truly became a family of its own. 

"I will never forget that experience; I felt my heart breaking more and more with each loss.  It was devastating.  The home is recovering, but I am sure staff will be emotionally scarred by what they dealt with.

"I am proud that I was part of a team that supported, and continue to support, care homes in their absolute time of need.  I am proud that I was in a position to offer not only practical clinical support but also emotional support, by building trusting relationships with care home staff that allowed them to talk openly to me about how they were feeling. 

"The most moving experience I had was early in the pandemic with the team I worked with, discussing how our families were scared for us going to work every day.  We all shared our experiences and feelings. It was the most honest and vulnerable discussion I have ever seen in my work career – a group of us, all teary-eyed, sharing our experiences and inner most fears at the time.  I think the pandemic made everyone feel vulnerable and work is not where people like to be seen as vulnerable.  It was initially surprising to see and hear staff feeling vulnerable, being fearful.  Seeing the team deal with this together was inspirational. It bonded us and made us want to support each other and it moved us all.  And that very first Thursday night clap for the NHS – wow that made me so emotional.

"I am also very proud of the team I work in, going out every day to homes with outbreaks, donning PPE and getting stuck in when many others were not visiting and face-to-face contacts were reduced. People’s enthusiasm to help and get the job done has been amazing. I am humbled by the dedication of the team."