Emily Williamson's story

Emily Williamson, Critical Care Nurse

“Before the pandemic I was a band 6 nurse working on the day surgery unit at Good Hope Hospital. I had been there since I qualified as a nurse back in 2003, but when COVID-19 hit my whole team was redeployed to ITU.

“We were all told there was going to be no surgery and we had to go and support critical care. I was obviously worried, but I felt that it was the right thing to do. I knew that they needed help, I knew how horrific it was up there, and so I felt that it was my duty, as a nurse, to go up and support the nurses and wider team on ITU.

“I remember my first shift was a night shift, and I hadn’t done a night shift in a very long time. I felt really nervous and when I arrived It hit me there were people younger than me on ventilators. It all felt really scary.

“I have three young children and a very supportive husband who has also worked throughout the pandemic as he’s an anaesthetist.

“My children found it really difficult. They struggled seeing mum and dad going out to work, and while we tried not to talk about anything in front of them, they knew there was a pandemic and what we both do for a living and knew we were doing something that was important.

“But as scared as I was initially, I just felt like I had found my calling almost. I got so much job satisfaction, a lot of which was adrenaline driven at first, but the longer I was there, the more I just thought I really want to work here.

“I found that I just had a reason to get out of bed and go to work of a morning. I had almost lost that a little bit with where I was before because I had been there so long.

“After six months in ITU I made the leap to change jobs after 17 years, and have been working in my new role as a band 5 ITU nurse for over a year now.

“When I look back to the start of the pandemic, it was difficult being a manger of a team that was redeployed, trying to support them, whilst also managing my own stresses of being redeployed.

“I have to say, my old team were a brilliant team, I do really miss them. They were just incredible, being asked to step up like that. While I thought it was my duty, it was really scary and a lot of them were utterly terrified.

“But because I was the band 6, I had to ensure that they didn’t ever see that I was scared, even though I was – I was so, so scared. I always made sure it was important that they never sensed that from me.

“I felt it was important that I led by example, and if they could see that I’m doing it then they knew they could do it too. They were absolutely incredible. Considering we were a day surgery unit, to then be thrown in to support ventilated patients, that was incredible. Now I look back I don’t think any of us realised just what we did.

“I am proud of myself as well and I do think I have surprised myself a little bit too. The fact that even on the most traumatic days, like the first day I dealt with a patient we had to withdraw treatment from, along with dealing with the patient’s family, I held it together somehow. I’d always imagined I wouldn’t be strong enough, but I was.

“The pandemic has also really made me appreciate the importance of team work.

“You have family and friends who are constantly asking ‘how are you’ and you can try and explain to them how work is, but there is something about being with group of people who are going through exactly what you’re going through. We really are the most incredibly supportive team

“I find everyone is so supportive of each other on critical care, that we just have something that no one outside of us could understand, because we know what each of us has gone through.

“After so long dealing with the sickest of patients throughout the pandemic, it is starting to really affect me, the trauma of it all is a lot to deal with but I wouldn’t change my decision about moving to ITU. I’m really proud to say I’m a critical care staff nurse.”